Don't Pitty Me
"There really is no reason why, I mean, my life isn't perfect, but it definitely isn't that bad. I really have no reason to feel this deep in despair".
"What do you mean Freddie?"
"Well, I've had some low points in my life, quite a few actually, but it could be worse you know? There are kids out there starving to death, who don't have a home, or a choice over their own life."
"Oh".
"I know you don't understand Sally, but, it's not an easy thing to explain unless you feel like that too. The worst part is, I feel so alone, so deeply sad, and like all I can do is cry, but when I feel that way, I start to think about how bad other people have it, and how I'm lucky, and it just makes me feel even worse. It's a vicious circle."
"I wish I could help Freddie, but I really just don't get how someone can feel like that, I don't see how it consumes your life this much." Freddie stares down at his feet, deep in thought, trying to figure out some possible way for Sally to understand. He takes her hand, grasps it with both his palms, and shakes his head in thought.
"I would never wish that anyone else would have to go through this, especially a friend I care about like you, but i guess, the only way for you to truly understand, for you to see how serious it is, is to actually have depression."
"Okay okay, lets talk about something else, this topic is hurting my head, and honestly I don't have any pitty to offer you." Sally's words stung like a bee. Freddie jumped up put of his chair, and started to pace back and forth angrily, occasionally looking back at the judgement on Sally's face.
"Pitty?! Pitty?! I don't want your PITTY. I'm no martyr! I am not looking for attention, or sympathy, I'm not giving an excuse, or justifying my reason for always being so gloomy. I was just confiding in someone I thought was my friend! You tell me I need to be more open, and that I can trust you, and tell you anything, but then you treat me like I'm some sort of martyr. Some sort of pathetic loser who needs to be pitied?!" Sally roles her eyes and walks away, not saying a word, she leaves him behind. He watches her leave. After she turns the corner, Freddie puts himself together again, and reassures himself that everything is going to be okay. He just lost his best friend. But he will be okay, he's managed before, he can manage again.
"One day I'll get better, I don't know when, but the day will come." he says out loud to himself." "I just don't know if it's worth the wait".
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